Love, Marriage and Combining Finances

April 27, 2020

I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.  

While a first date might not be the ideal opportunity to discuss your financial situation, before you get too deep into a relationship, I would recommend having discussions around things like...

....Are you more of a spender or a saver?

...What are you financial goals?

...Do you currently budget or have another systems for understanding and planning a head for cash flow needs?

...What kind of debt do you currently carry?

...If you were in a serious relationship or marriage situation, would you want individual or joint bank accounts?

...What is your credit score?

Discussing finances can be a bit taboo, admittedly so.  However, look at it from this perspective.  Would you rather know and choose to willingly accept (or not) your partner's financial condition 3 months into a relationship or 3 years down the road when you are looking at marriage and combining finances?  We are all human and a less-than-perfect financial situation is not always a dealbreaker, but there are steps that can be taken to improve said financial condition over time and/or prenuptual agreements that can be utilized to agree on the front end what each of you would be responsible for in the event that the marriage ends in divorce.  

As you move toward a more serious relationship, discussions around how you will combine finances, pay individual and mutual bills and juggle financial goals for the future should be top of mind.  This is a great opportunity to figure out whether financial friction before marriage could be a red flag down the road.  If one partner believes in saving at all costs and the other works with the goal of funding the "fun" things in life like vacations, recreational vehicles and experiences, it may be helpful to establish a budget around compromise and ensuring that each partner feels valued and understood.

Money, or a lack thereof, can be a significant source of friction in a relationship and in a marriage.  Working with a mutual financial advisor to get on the same page and working toward a common strategy can be a great form of "pre-marital" counseling from a financial perspective.  

Give me a call if you and your significant other would like to discuss how to build a mutual financial strategy for the long-run.  


This is meant for educational purposes only.  It should not be considered investment advice, nor does it constitute a recommendation to take a particular course of action. Please consult with a financial professional regarding your personal situation prior to making any financial related decisions.  (04/20)